Yeah, you hear that, PEASANTS? Shut the fuck up about the prices of things, and TAKE IT. Show some goddamn respect for your BETTERS.
Billionaires need some peace and quiet while they divvy up the country’s spoils amongst each other. Spoils from YOUR hard labor, by the way.
Why aren’t you wearing a suit to go grocery shopping? Show some respect!
Have you instructed your servant to search more thoroughly?
It can’t be that bad. What does one egg cost? Ten dollars? That’s nothing.
Someone needs to update this for eggs…
Have you said thank you once?
I believe the traditional response to “the peasants have no eggs” would be, “let them eat cake!”
Ew, gluten free cake
Let them eat quiche
You need eggs to make cake
Have they tried substituting smaller cakes for the eggs?
Yes, but it turns out those smaller cakes need smaller eggs.
It’s eggs all the way down.
Pheasant eggs aren’t any cheaper.
Go through the cycle a few times and maybe they can use insect eggs? Peasants have plenty of insects, right?
Gilead decrees all women of breeding age surrender their ova immediately.
That was the “joke” from the first time around. The French version uses brioche which is just even more fancy bread.
Maybe a parallel would be “the peasants have no eggs!” -> “let them eat omelettes!”
We have always been at war withEggs have always been expensive.Eggs
Eggs
Eggs
If I keep posting this every time there are egg related political news stories, maybe it’ll come true?
I put together a little short story about how I would like to see Donald Trump meet his demise. Drowning in eggs:
The Eggsecution.
The once-proud leader, now stripped of title and dignity, stands in the center of the barren, concrete abyss. The abandoned Olympic swimming pool—thirty feet deep, dry as bone—has become their final stage. Above, the gathered masses stretch in every direction, a writhing sea of anticipation.
They do not jeer. They do not boo.
They simply chant.
“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”
It starts as a murmur, a low thrum of human voices vibrating in unison. Then it grows, swelling into a deafening roar that rattles windows, that shudders in the bones of every person present. A chant as ancient as it is absurd, a single-minded invocation of punishment.
The first egg arcs high overhead, tracing a lazy curve before splattering against the fallen leader’s shoulder. The yolk bursts, oozing down his baggy, ugly, now-useless suit. A streak of yellow, the first of many.
Another egg. Then another.
Then dozens.
The first impacts make them flinch, stagger—hands raised in a futile shield. But soon there are too many to dodge, too many to deflect. They curl inward as the sky rains viscous judgment. The chant never stops.
“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”
Shells crack. Yolk drips. The scent of sulfur and shame thickens in the stagnant air. It coats their skin, their hair, their pride, turning them into something less than human. Something… egg-like.
At the top of the pit, a child—no older than seven—steps forward. They hold their egg with both hands, cradling it like something precious. Reverent. With a deliberate motion, they lob it downward. It strikes the leader square on the forehead, exploding with an almost musical plap. The crowd erupts into a fresh crescendo of cheers, but the chant never falters.
“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”
No escape. No reprieve. The pit is smooth concrete, slick now with raw egg and humiliation. They can do nothing but stand there, endure, become part of the ritual.
Somewhere in the throng, a vendor hawks boiled eggs. Another sells cartons to the unprepared. A man in a chicken suit waves encouragingly at the crowd.
The night wears on, but the spectacle does not end.
It cannot end.
Not until the last egg is thrown. Not until the last voice is hoarse.
Not until the world is rid of this one, failed leader, broken not by swords or exile, but by the inescapable weight of public yolk and scorn.
“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”
Do you have a blog? I would subscribe and actively donate to your cause.
Fucking LOL. He ran on egg prices. “Shut the fuck up about eggs.”
Friendship with eggs is no more.
Now he’s a friend with a spiraling hyperinflation.
High egg prices are doubleplusgood.
In the end, the Party would announce that two and two made five, and you would have to believe it. It was inevitable that they should make that claim sooner or later: the logic of their position demanded it.
Eggs have always cost this much. Under Biden, they cost more. All hail Big trumper for lowering egg prices! /s
Elon is triggered… so talk more about eggs.
Weak Trump trembles before daddy big egg
$2/ dozen in Asia, mates! Laughing at america rn.
Tell him to go fuck off back to putinland and leave us to ourselves
What’s funny is I was just thinking about how all the news sites are itching to drop their Easter egg story so we’re about to hear a lot more about eggs
Holy shit I didn’t see that on the horizon. That’ll be great…
Jokes about the eggs made of gold etc etc
I think Americans should stop buying eggs
At minimum, knowing how to substitute eggs in baking is a basic life skill if you like feeding yourself.
In baked goods, each = 1 egg:
1/4 cup applesauce
1/4 cup mashed banana
3 tbsp nut butter
1/4 cup yogurt
1 tbsp ground flax seed + 3 tbsp water
Even when bird flu isn’t going on, sometimes you just don’t have an egg. Know your options!
You underestimate the power of laziness. That’s a lot of steps to approximate an egg.
It’s far easier to bake less and eat fewer eggs. Trust a lazy person. Either that or I’ll wait until eggplants can grow real eggs.
Adding 1/4 cup applesauce isn’t that much of a bother, I promise! (Each item equals an egg, not mix all together to equal an egg)
Ohhhhh that makes much more sense. I was going to complain about the volume of those things too, but I figured I had already complained about enough. Turns out my complaint was crazy.
TIL
I use a shelf-stable egg replacer in my baking, mostly because I hardly ever have eggs on hand. (Bob’s Red Mill is the brand I see, but I’m sure there’s other brands out there)
I guess I’m big on shelf-stable substitutes for stuff that goes bad fast: I also have powdered milk for baking/sauces, and textured vegetable protein to add protein and texture to things I’d usually use ground meat for, where the meat’s flavor would be overpowered by the sauce anyway.
I did. Months ago. I like eggs, but these people are fucking silly. I don’t know how anybody could care so much about egg prices that they helped this criminal idiot be a dictator, and they’re still whining instead of just refusing to buy eggs. How do these losers care this much about eggs but they don’t breathe a word about the cost of healthcare and prescription drugs?
I might be close to this upset if it were cheese that this were happening to. But eggs? Get a life.
I’ve never liked eggs. Never bought an egg in my life. Though I admit I do eat things with eggs in them. If they disappeared completely, I’d miss cake, cookies, ranch dressing, and breaded chicken. Still, I’d rather do without those things than vote for Donald Trump. Having never used eggs for cooking and eaten many delicious meals without them, I’m baffled that so many people find it so hard to just do without them.
The Americans need to learn from the French where one egg is un oeuf.
I see what you did there.
Great pun, love.
Trump prends oeuf. ou est ouef?
250% increase in price.
I voted for Trump because he Promised to LOWER Egg Prices and I STILL support Trump after he told me to SHUT UP and ACCEPT these Super High Egg Prices! I think for MYSELF!
MYSELF
I really could not stop laughing from earlier today (I think it was the Young Turks podcast I was listening to) when I heard them play some crazy bullshit from the State Media Television and someone was talking, in the context of little d destroying our economy with tariffs, about how this will be just more of “Biden’s economy” if things get painful due to what little d is doing to us.
I mean, seriously. I guess Biden made little d play his tariff game? But I’m sure there are a non-zero amount of redcaps that watch that shit and nod their heads to it.
The only reason the redcaps nod their head in response to information is to make sure the air doesn’t escape through the ears
Eggs.
Eggs.
Eggs.I want deviled eggs! And I might have to sell my soul
Make American Grocery Affordable
No pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again
No USDA. Make America grade again.
No Department of Education. Make America First Grade Again
Imagine campaigning on ‘immediate relief’ and then reposting an article that screams ‘suck it up.’ Iconic failure. Missed opportunities to explore potential solutions or broader economic implications.
🐱🐱
